The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Hostess: Jill

Book: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Food: Greek Pasta Salad, Bruschetta, Grilled peaches with Gorgonzola cheese, pita and dip, guacamole and chips.

Best Wine of the Night: The Sangria!

It was a gorgeous night for book club to meet, one of the first nights we have had this summer without oppressing, swamp-like humidity or a tornado caliber storm. Jill set up outside, which was fabulous. I think most of us were taken in by the sweetness of the night and wine - we sure didn't get in much talking about the book. We were just too relaxed it seemed.

But we did talk about the book a little, mainly on the biggest question surrounding the novel- the misogynistic themes that stream through out, raising their ugly heads. All that violence towards women- virtually every woman in the novel was assaulted by a man in some way, shape or form. Even Lisbeth seemed to dislike herself, and for all her sharp edges and bravado, was still body conscious, not liking her own shape. Was this to make her more relate-able to women readers, who may have body image issues of their own? Maybe it is just my American perspective, our hard core heroines do not have insecurities, at least none that they talk about. I thought it was interesting that Larsson chose to show her vulnerabilities.

We also talked about Blomkvist's relationship with his partner, Erica. We were more confused about Erica's relationship with her husband actually. Did he just love her that much that he allowed her her freedoms? Did he not love her enough? Was their marriage open for both of them? This was perplexing to us.

We all agreed that this was a fantastic book, and we all want to read the rest of the series. I am looking forward to next month's selection, Eating in the Light of the Moon, as well.

Anyway you slice it..Pt. 1

A few weeks ago I asked my Facebook friends to recommend their favorite pizza places- local, independent, not chain, mass produced pizzas. I now have a list of at least 15 places to try pizza from; well, really 14, since one of them I have had pizza from, many years ago, and there was a huge, I mean huge and nasty, swirl of hair on the bottom of the crust of the pizza slice I was eating! It horrified me, scared me, caused me to not eat pizza for at least a few months. The hair plug, as I refer to it, made me think they dropped the dough into the drain of a shower at a no-tell motel and then just proceeded to make our pizza from that. Thinking about it still gives me the shivers! Gah! Needless to say, I can't try that place again. They may have improved but I just can't do it.

Sunday night we needed pizza, in a big way. It was just one of those days. We decided on Del's Pizza in Trenton. I had heard mixed things about the restaurant itself, but that the pizza was pretty good. Ok, I am up for that. I thought maybe the restaurant might look a bit dodgy, a little divey, but I can deal with that too. Billy and I met Devin, Chrissy and Todd outside the restaurant two hours before they were due to close. Chrissy told me she wasn't sure about the place, since they had gone in to wait for us and were ignored. I suggested we try one more time, just in case they just didn't see by some chance a group of three people at the door. In we walked, intrepid pizza eaters, trying out a new place, hopeful yet skeptical. As soon as we stepped in the door, the waitress threw up her hands in anger, and sneered "Oh great" at us. I had a hard time believing this was directed at us, because really, what restaurant does not want customers? So I blundered on, asking if we just sit anywhere. The waitress flung her hands about in the air, and sputtered "Anywhere, anywhere" like we were the worst people on earth and now she had to talk to us. It was so odd! We turned around and walked out. So our first place is off the list, and gets a very bad review from me. I plan on emailing the manager as well.

Still hungry, we drove back home and ate at Solero instead. Our waitress turned over backwards practically for us, setting our pizzas up on another table so that we could have more space on our table to eat and see each other, and was very attentive at refilling our drinks. A plus in my book. The pizzas themselves were delicious! We ordered the New York White Garlic, the Pesto pizza, and Billy, the token carnivore, ordered the Solero special meat thing. All the pizzas at Solero are prepared in a brick oven, and they were fabulous. We were so full of pizza goodness when we left, we had to pass up ice cream at Stroh's, which is unbelievably good as well. The only thing I would have negative to say is that my wine glass was maybe a bit dirty. But the pizza, the pizza was fantastic! It was not a place on my list, but is a place I will continue to eat.

** I just want to add that I mean no offense to the people who may have suggested Del's. I am sure your experience was a great one, with great pizza. Unfortunately, my experience was not good at all, and that is not your fault.

Meeting Time

Last night, Billy and I were scheduled to attend an informational meeting with the agency we were considering for our home study. The meeting was in Royal Oak, so true to our style, we took that opportunity to hang out in Royal Oak for a bit before hand, and have a nice dinner. We usually like to go to Bastone, but Jennifer has been talking about the Royal Oak Brewery so went there. It was a nice, calm meal before the meeting, which I was nervous about.

I really should not have been- out of the 30 some different agencies we have contacted and spoken with, we hands down loved these people. In fact, we liked them so much, that we completely changed our initial plan, and our now going to use this agency for everything- the home study, the adoption, all of it. We have even decided to do a domestic adoption, instead of the international adoption we had been pretty set on.

This whole process is something I could probably write a book on already, just the research alone. Billy and I feel we have traveled the world in search of the perfect program, and every time we decide on something, the country closes, or something just doesn't feel right. Our number one choice for International was Kazakhstan, even with its drawbacks, such as costing as much as our home and having to stay in country 6 weeks. To us, this was worth it. I don't think people who have had children naturally can understand this maybe; you reach a point where these options seem doable, if the end result is a happy adoption. But Kazakhstan closed, and the other countries we looked at were just not right for us, in one way or another. We had finally decided on Honduras - but although we were excited, something about this program didn't ever really click with us, but we were so anxious to begin and get started, we made the decision to go with Honduras. Maybe one day we will revisit this idea, if we ever decide to adopt a second time- I haven't closed the book on Honduras completely yet, I consider it an option for a future adoption.

The meeting last night answered and addressed every worry we had about domestic, in an honest, genuine, personable manner. We really felt like these people cared about us, knew us from our emails, and knew what they were doing. There was also a family there who had finished an adoption with the agency about 8 months ago; they did a fantastic job of answering questions, as people who have been there before. We didn't feel like we were getting a business spiel, rushed into anything, or that we were bothering anyone. We were one couple among about 8 others, which when you are on a waiting list, you like to see small numbers. It was a two hour meeting, but it seemed to fly by, at least for me- my ADD husband had a bit harder time sitting still, but one thing about Billy; he may seem like he is not listening because he is doodling, but he is hearing every word, and remembering it all. He just needs to keep busy in these situations, and his drawings help him to not fidget to much.

We left, not really saying anything too much until we got in the car. Then we looked at each other, and practically said at the same time, "I love this agency". For the first time, everything felt right, every bit.

Moving forward, slowly and deliberately

It seems my life is suddenly in fast forward; how is it already the middle of July? I feel like I have let so many days this year blur by, with my constantly busy schedule. The funny thing is, I had tried to scale back, to make more time in my life for other things. Plans are sometimes like a hydra- you finish one duty, and two more spring to life. Starting today, starting maybe right this very second, I resolve to stick to my and spend more time on the things I told myself I was going to- my writing, my photography, my home.

This is especially important to me now, as Billy and I have made the life changing, monumental, rewarding decision to adopt a child. This is the time we need to make small in our lives, to get ready to accommodate another member into our family. We are so excited and hopeful for our future, and I will definitely be writing about our journey toward our child. Tonight we are going to a meeting with the agency we selected for our home study, to learn more about the process. I feel I have learned so much already about international adoption, in some instances it even feels I have learned a new language! For all the research and conversations we have had, with countless agencies, today feels like the first step in the journey.

Spending yesterday with my friend Jennifer and her three year old son was fabulous. We went blueberry and peach picking together, and then had a quick lunch in a nearby farm town. I had such a great time, and it was nice to be out in the blueberry bushes, on a beautiful day with a cool breeze and birds singing in the trees around us. I had a "Steinbeck moment" - not sure why I refer to these moments as such, but I do- I picked a peach, warmed from the sun, straight from the tree and enjoyed the juicy taste as I sat among the rows, becoming warm from the sun myself. Small moments like this make long time memories, and I can't wait to go again next year.

The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane

Hostess: Kelly at Alyssa's house

Book: The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane

Food: Fancy time cupcakes from a bakery, hummus, veggies with dip

Best Wine of the Night: Two Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's

Month: April

In March Kelly told us she was trying to decide between two books for her choice, this one and another one I can't remember anymore. I lobbied hard for this one- I love to read books about the Salem witch trials, I always have. I am also a huge history buff, I even have a degree in it, so this book appealed to me on this level as well. So when Kelly said this was the book she had chosen, I was pretty excited.

I loved this book, I pretty much devoured it in two days. At first Chrissy didn't care for the book, and felt the protagonist Connie was pretentious. I have to agree, she wasn't an instantly likeable character. I also could not believe she actually spent the night in that house the first night. That was pretty unbelievable, at least for me. Yuck. Connie did grow on me though-she was a thorough researcher who took her fact finding seriously. My historical research professor would have been pleased with her efforts and her use of materials.

I enjoyed the approach this book took to the idea of the Witchcraft trials- certainly it was one I have never heard broached before, that perhaps they really were witches after all, and it was not the hysterics of young selfish girls that started it all. It puts a very different spin on things, to think maybe there was a real witch in the bunch. Something to think about...

The Alchemist

Hostess: Karin

Book Selection: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Food: Berries with cream served in teacups, cheese tortellini with red sauce, hummus and pita, goat cheese and water crackers, breadsticks, veggies and dip

Best Wine of the Night: Espiral Vinoh Verde, a white blend from Portugal. Around $4.00 at Trader Joes.

Month: March

The first time I read this book, I tried to like it but didn't really. It went over my head, I had no idea what was happening, and I didn't quite care either. This time reading it for book club, I paid attention to the book and what the author was saying, and I enjoyed it so much better this time. I also think that my frame of mind during this reading made a difference as well; it was a good time in my life to read a positive, uplifting book. Not that my life is in shambles, quite the opposite really, but I think with the coming of spring out of a cold long winter this was a perfect book.

The book, very simply put, is all about discovering your personal legend,and the journey toward achieving that legend. That is the essence and very bare bones of this novel. My favorite line in the book, and the one that is at the heart of the book, is " When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it." I am trying to make that my personal mantra, it is such a powerfully positive way to look at the world. And if along the way things happen that seem to prevent from ever reaching your goal, Coelho encourages you to stop and think about what is happening. There is a reason behind the roadblock.

Karin mentioned the crystal merchant - he preferred dreaming the dream to realizing the dream. Dreaming gave him happiness, and he was content to continue dreaming, rather than risk disappointment, to him his dreams were as fragile, beautiful, and breakable as the crystal that he sold. Karin and I could see his point, to some extent. Sometimes it is nice just to dream, without feeling you have to pursue it. But I would believe those must be daydreams, not part of your personal quest. On another note, I loved the descriptions of the mint tea being served in a crystal glass - it sounds so refreshing, I am going to have to try it this summer.

At the end of the book, Santiago is beaten by refugees looking for treasure. Through bloody and swollen lips, Santiago tells his tormentors of his dream of treasure. As his assailants are leaving, the leader of the band of refugees pauses to tell the boy to give up dreaming, because he had a recurrent dream of his own, about treasure - and inadvertently reveals to Santiago the location of where his, the boy's, treasure, is. The leader goes on to say he would never be such a fool to cross a desert because of a dream. His dream was basically the same dream as Santiago's. Chrissy raised the question that perhaps since the refugee leader passed up the dream, the dream was transferred to Santiago, that the dream would live on in someone until it was fulfilled.

We all loved this book, and interestingly, we all want to read other books written by Coelho, but we all named different ones. I wonder if that means something? Our online member wants to read The Pilgrimage, Alyssa wants to read Veronika Decides to Die, I want to read Brida. But if you are looking for an optimistic, positive book, try this one. It is a fable for adults who need to be reminded to follow their hearts.

For those of you who want to read along with us and drink a glass of wine, next month's book is The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane. Please feel free to read and comment on all our book selections!

Reading The Lovely Bones

Hostess: Mary 2

Book Selection: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

Food: Hummus, pita, veggie tray, cheese, shrimp

Best Wine of the Night: Zinopolis, California Zinfandel, 2007 $17.99

Month: February

I am not sure what I expected from this book - I know that when it was first published and flying off the shelves, I was reluctant to read it, although everyone I knew was raving about it. It seemed like it was going to be depressing, and I wasn't in the market for sad at that time.

So when I read it for book club, I was surprised it was not as depressing and bleak as I had thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, it is still a disturbing topic, the rape and murder of a young girl. But I think Sebold wrote this novel in such a way that the reader is able to distance themselves from the horror of the act, by writing the book from the viewpoint of Susie Salmon as a heavenly narrator.

I loved the heaven aspect, the fact that Susie could watch people, and design her own heaven. And I loved that Holiday was there with her eventually. I know as a pet owner, that I hope my animals will be with me in eternity one day. So I liked that part.

The novel raised many questions in me, and in my book club companions - it was an interesting discussion. All of us felt that the book started out strong, it fizzled out near the end, and seemed to just run out of steam. But perhaps this was Sebold's intention as well, people move on, large life changing events remain large and life changing, but in time they become the past, literally and emotionally, as newer large and life changing events take place. For Susie, that was it for her; she never grew up, moved on, had other experiences, while her friends and family did move on, grow up, lead lives, never forgetting Susie, but dealing with it the best they could. Except for the mom, in my opinion. I was so angry at her! I could not believe a mother could leave her other children like that- it is so completely wrong to me. I felt she was a weak woman, who had to run away from her emotions rather than face them and raise her remaining children. I realize I have no idea of how it would feel to be in her position, and I hope if I have children, I never do. I hope though that if I would eventually be strong for my other kids, even if inside I were struggling and wanting to run away and disappear. Buckley and Lindsey lost not just a sister, but a mother too.

And Mr. Harvey! What a villain to create. I was waiting on the edge of my seat for hard core justice, which never came. I sympathized with the father, who was obsessed with finding evidence that Mr. Harvey was the evil monster that he believed he was, and his desire for Mr. Harvey to get what he deserved. All those girls, all those women, all the families in their lives lost as well. I didn't think what happened to him was enough, but Alyssa pointed out that he didn't matter anymore; the damage had already been done. And maybe that is the case, I can see that. I don't necessarily agree, but I can see the point. I compare this to Joyce Carol Oates' novel Rape: A Love Story, and what happened to the rapists in that story, and I feel that although I thought their punishment was too strong, at least there was a consequence.

Parts of the novel were a little weird, parts were a little obscure; but no matter what this novel made you feel, anger, disgust, wonder, sympathy, sadness - it definitely made you feel something. I don't think it is possible to read The Lovely Bones without leaving with some sort of feeling about it one way or another; it is impossible to be ambivalent.